::Baby G:: One Year Ago...

Today is a very special day to me and my husband. A year ago today I woke up nervous and excited. A year ago today was the first day we could know if “this month was it”. We would find out if all of our planning, thoughts, prayers, excitement, and trying worked or if it would be another “maybe next month”. We tried for a little over six months to get pregnant. During that time, there were months that I thought that it definitely wasn't going to be THE month but then there were months were I was certain we were pregnant, I just felt different. Every month when the time would come around I would pray---I prayed for this month to be it, I prayed for our unborn baby, and I prayed that if it wasn't the case that I be okay with it.

The worse month was January of last year. It was one of those months that I just knew. I was sure! I woke up on the day and took another test, sure that the test I took the day before was a false negative taken too soon. I had had a horrible day at work the day before, I was stressed and irritable and I needed this. Looking back I put way too much importance on that test, maybe I wasn't ready. I took the test and not only was it negative, my period started before I left the house---definitely a negative for the month! I was upset. Realistically I knew it wasn't the end of the world but in that moment, I was extremely bummed out. I got in my car to head to work, pulled out of our parking garage (crying of course) and I hit a car that was pulling into our building. I was looking but I didn't even see her. I couldn't hold any more in, I just started crying. This woman was what I needed at that moment. She looked at her car, then looked up at me and said “It’s ok, there are worse things in the world” and she gave me the biggest hug. It was exactly what I needed. Before she walked away she said “Whatever it is, things will get better. They always do”. While I was still upset after this, she made me feel so much better. Whoever she was I am grateful to have run into her at the perfect time in my life.

After that moment, I tried not putting so much pressure on myself as I knew it would happen when it was meant to happen, I had little control over it. A year ago today my life was forever changed. I’ll never forget being on the floor of my bathroom looking at that test, I’ll never forget the huge hug from my husband, and I’ll never forget the big smile on his face when we realized we are starting a family! What a year!

Mere :-)